The following is a humorous piece written by an (American) friend living in Albania to welcome the foreign wedding guests to the country. Please read with caution and a block of salt.
Welcome for Albania! !
We make very special time for very welcome Americans friends and family persons! And make benefit glorious nation of Albania!
For to make very funny time in your very welcome Albania, we inscribe ameliorative tips and techniques of exceptional tactiness.
In the Albania, we have the money. Money is called lek. Lek is like dollar except no American Presidents. 1000 lek is green like dollar, equal about 10 US dollar American or 25 live chickens. The exchange house is many; no problem for change dollar to lek. Except night-time sundown and the Sunday.
Albanian people very like American! But not speak English! Sorry! Italian OK sometimes. Albanians speak the Albanian. Very loud is OK! Very very loud is very OK!
In the Albania we shake the hand and kiss once or twice, or more for close. Boy kiss boy; this OK because there no gays in Albania.
In this festive time, the Madsie (the bride) and the Fationit (the groom) are for make wedding and happy adventures for peaceful life. Also, any the American peoples that want Albanian husband or wife are very welcome for marry today. Even you speak Albanian no problem; we have dictionary.
When you drive in Albanian roads, you must show no fear. But take care of goat and cow. If policeman officer come, just show US passport and drive away. Before drive, always neverforeget drink raki for relax.
In the Albanian you smoke when anytime you want smoke. Any place OK! We have the no smoke signs just for government. No problem!
When go for toilet, sure for lock door so no otherpersons enter. Or no lock door if for otherpersons entering OK. Wearing the slippershoes why floor cold and wet. But no forget stop wear slippershoes after toilettime